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2007-07-03 issue:

Connecting families weekend

by Martin Lehman, Sarasota, Fla.

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A bit of history may be helpful in understanding the Connecting Families (Readers Say, May 15). About 25 years ago, the Coordinating Council of Region V in the Mennonite Church became aware of the need for someone in the church to listen to the concerns of the gays and lesbians in their region. As one of the council’s last acts, it appointed a few people to be a listening committee and referred follow up to the Mennonite Board of Congregational Ministries.

We asked what the gay attendees at Bethlehem ’83 wanted. The answer came quickly: Do something for our families. They don’t understand us, and they are being hurt. This simple request led to a series of retreats held for the benefit of parents and siblings of gay-oriented people.

I was present at the last of the retreats sponsored by this first listening committee. The attendees soon asked when they could talk to each other. It became apparent that some parents had never talked with other parents of gay children. Stories needed to be told, tears to be shed, hurts to be healed, confidence to be restored. One of the best ways to overcome negative feelings about themselves and their children was through parent-to-parent conversation.

That retreat encouraged the families to organize and make themselves available to other families suffering the pain they had suffered. They chose leaders and became known as Connecting Families. They seek to connect with and be helpful to other families with a gay or lesbian child.

In my 57 years of ministry I never felt more like Jesus than when listening to those to whom much of the church had turned a deaf ear. I urge The Mennonite to open channels of communication so that the healing ministry of Connecting Families can be known, accepted and blessed.