Pornography abuses women
by Donald Gering, Hesston, Kan.
After reading about the pornography seminar at San José 2007 (July 24, page 6), I felt sad. The comments from the men’s breakout session did not inspire hope: “We want women to know how powerful and important sex is for us, and how strong the sex drive can be.” This sounds like justification for the abuse of their partners and women in general.
As the husband of a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I have experienced with my spouse the devastation misuse of sexuality can cause. I also know that intimacy is not dependent on sexual relations. With the help of a caring pastor and mental health professionals, my wife and I became very close during her recovery, and she was in the driver’s seat when it came to sexual encounters. For more than seven years I chose to be celibate in order to help facilitate her healing. No one can tell me sexual urges are so strong they cannot be controlled.
Apparently some men are so narcissistic that they don’t care who they hurt. If this were not true, my spouse would not have had to work through more than 11 years of therapy.
Also I do not understand the comment “Male sexuality has become neutered in our society. Sexual energy—even the positive kind—has come to be seen as bad or wrong. We want to reclaim our sexuality as a gift from God.” It is a gift from God. If we feel a need to reclaim it, we need to look at our sexual thoughts and practices.
The women’s breakout comments need to be read and reread by men. Keep in mind that women portrayed in pornography are abused and for the most part have come from abusive families of origin and abusive relationships.
Associated Issue: Called by the Spirit as broken vessels
Associated Article: Pornography seminar includes men, women
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