Blessed hunger, extravagant grace

Helpful lessons from Weight Watchers

Print Article Email to a Friend

an hunger be blessed? Can grace be extravagant? One Sunday in worship at First Mennonite Church, Iowa City, I came forward holding high a bowl. I said, “This is my Winnie the Pooh cereal bowl. It stands for my hunger after companions for the journey who take grace seriously and themselves lightly. One of Pooh’s sayings is, “It’s more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy ones like, ‘What about lunch?’ ” I long to look at my shadow self—that fat lady inside my head with her committee of negative voices—and say, Let’s all of us go out to lunch.

I told the congregation my story: I can remember looking at the squat shadow my body cast on a sunny day and thinking, Boy, am I fat. Yet that same day at dusk I looked at my thin shadow and wondered how I got to be such a string bean. At times I’ve looked at people heavier than I am and thought smugly, I’m glad I don’t look like that. At times I’ve walked with friends who have anorexia nervosa and wondered, How can she possibly think she is fat? Ultimately I know God created us in every shape and size and loves us as we are. The only way I can truly live that self-acceptance is to join others on a journey to a healthy body and a wholesome relationship with food.

I can’t imagine the journey of faith without someone to lean on. I need those who will accept me as I am yet love me enough to call forth a new person. I need the stories of people who have gone before me, people who are honest about their hungers and needs and addictions. One place I hear such stories and find such companions is at Weight Watchers meetings.

I hear stories like those told by middle-aged sisters Joyce and Janette about how some diets they have tried have been “food jail.” In their 30-some years in the program they can remember the strict rules. No cookies. No cake. No donuts. You have to eat fish and liver.

One night Joyce woke up and realized she hadn’t had her mandatory serving of fat and got up and ate a tablespoon of mayonnaise by the light of the refrigerator door. When Joyce told her group leader about that, she was scolded for eating between meals. Janette is quick to admit they both had lost weight initially on this restricted diet. But when they got to their goal weight and could eat sweets again, they ate donuts by the dozen. All the weight came back. Law and un-grace didn’t lead to a transformed lifestyle.

Portion control: I hear words of grace from leader Harriett, who tells us that not only are we allowed to eat the foods we love, but that we will fail if we don’t find ways to do so. The secret is to do so mindfully and with portion control. I hear words of wisdom from leader Marla, who says, “Be careful what you tell yourself, because you will become what you believe. Feed yourself positive self-talk and you will do positive things.”

I turned to Weight Watchers because I didn’t eat out of hunger. Instead I ate because I was anxious and afraid, because I was angry and defensive, because I wanted consolation or celebration or numbness. I ate from mouth hunger and heart hunger, not from belly hunger. I still find myself eating when I am stressed by conflict. Once in church during a controversial meeting that was to be followed by a potluck, the moderator asked for questions and my burning one was, “Is that sauerkraut I smell?”

At meetings I’ve learned to stop myself before gorging, to pay attention to the acronym HALT, which stands for Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired. I’ve learned to notice that when I think I’m hungry for crunchy food like potato chips, it could be that my real longing is to chew someone out. In that case, instead of eating, it would be better to express anger directly. I’ve also paid attention to times I want to turn to comfort food like macaroni and cheese because what I’m really hungering for is nurture and love from family and friends. And when I want those Hershey kisses I may really want a hug. Then again, I could simply want chocolate.

Weight loss discipline can apply to spiritual discipline. My weight watching companions and I try to keep the discipline of writing down each day what we have eaten and for how many points. We also weigh in weekly. It keeps us accountable. Similarly I try at the end of each day to write a “weigh in” of the ways I fell short in living mindfully and the ways I was nourished by God.

Demons: Is it an exaggeration to say the support I receive at Weight Watchers is like the support some people receive from Alcoholics Anonymous? Or is Weight Watchers a superficial social group focused on something trivial? My friends in support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous say they rank their demons: some smoke cigarettes, some overeat, but as long as they are clean and sober they’re grateful for deliverance from self-destruction. While I hesitate to go as far as saying that overeating has made my life unmanageable or that I am powerless over food, I do turn to food like a drug and can be miserable because of it.

Weight Watchers takes a less spiritual approach than 12-step programs such as Overeaters Anonymous. Weight Watchers was started in the 1960s by Jean Nidetch, a housewife who invited friends into her home to brainstorm ways to lose weight together. It turned out helping people lose weight was good business, and now there are franchises all over the world. Business or not, God has used the leaders and members of this group to point me in the direction of grace, balance and accountability. Anything that blocks God’s grace in our life is of concern to God, and anything that can restore right relationships is blessed by God.

Isaiah 55:2 (NIV) asks, “Why spend money on what is not bread and your labor on what does not satisfy?” When your real inner hunger is for right relationships, spending money on food that you’re going to eat alone and in shame won’t satisfy. When your true thirst is for justice, you’ll quench it more by serving free lunch than gulping down a grande latte with whipped cream. And God invites us to an extravagant lunch. Isaiah 55:2 (NIV) continues, “Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.” If I can allow the bowl of my hunger to wait empty instead of filling it with food that does not satisfy, how richly I hope God will fill me. Yes, Pooh, there will be plenty of honey for all of us.

Margalea Warner is a member of First Mennonite Church of Iowa City. She is a lifetime member of Weight Watchers and has been freed from food jail, enjoying cooking and eating out with friends as well as walking 10,000 steps a day.

Current Stories

Articles

• A mother's hands, a mother's heart
• Blessed hunger, extravagant grace
• An unlikely missional event
• Mom and me, forever

News stories, digests and Meno Acontecer

• EMU student falls from roof during prank
• Bethel, Bartel lauded for science education
• Goshen commits to ‘climate neutral’ campus
• Aberdeen church celebrates 100 years
• Mennonite students, church help in Mexico
• Light a lamp for peace between U.S. and Iran
• Täuferjahr opens in Switzerland

Columns

• Words of blessing
• Strong nonviolence
• My father’s generous orthodoxy
• Passing along comfort

Additional Notes

Margalea Warner is a member of First Mennonite Church of Iowa City. She is a lifetime member of Weight Watchers and has been freed from food jail, enjoying cooking and eating out with friends as well as walking 10,000 steps a day.