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2008-06-03 issue:

When prayer doesn’t work

Grace and Truth column

by Kenneth Thompson

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In my spirituality, I know there is absolutely no reason to believe prayer isn’t heard. Yet in our humanity there are private, humbling moments when we wonder. I found comfort in understanding that prayer, like life—even at its simplest—is still so intricate and interrelated.



Faith, like peace, is a life journey not just a destination. Jesus Christ reconciles the sincere idealism of our heavenly worship—and the stark realism of our walk in this present world—into a pragmatic idealism brimming with joyful hope and faith each time we pray. True heart-faith is the decreasing of reservations by becoming increasingly persuaded of God’s faithfulness, authority and ability in Jesus Christ.

“Why doesn’t God answer my prayers? I pray for something and it ends up different or worse! Why would God let my life end up like this?”

I heard those words fall from someone who felt like an unattended soul during a worship service. How do you explain to the depressed and angry why there are times it seems prayer doesn’t work and God doesn’t listen? Do we say, “If you really have faith you would trust and not have any questions”? No.

I understand now that asking God questions marks the sincerity of one’s growing faith and will yield depth of character over time. Because it’s the absence, not presence, of questions that make one’s faith shallow.

Martha and Mary in Luke’s vivid account of Jesus’ visit to their home yields some clues why and when prayer doesn’t work. Martha welcomes Jesus in. Mary sits and listens, Martha standing, leaves. She goes to another room to do “important” things while Mary stays in his presence still.

Prayer doesn’t work when we, like Martha, welcome Jesus into our lives yet find ourselves more active and conscious in “another room” rather than in his presence. Martha was close enough to recognize his voice but too far to hear his words.

A Christian can be close enough to recognize God’s voice yet can still be too far away and distracted to hear every living word proceeding from God’s mouth. Protect your worship opportunity with God from falling among the “other things to do” list. The mistake we make—along with Martha and the Bethlehem innkeeper years before her—is having Jesus on the property but off to the side, given no room or attention in our main activities.

Learn to highly prioritize and preserve your time with God. Overwhelmed with so many things at once? Master time stewardship, not time management. Management works to get more things done in a day; stewardship works to have more of the day left when you’re done. Never risk advancing in work disciplines by sacrificing spiritual disciplines. It’s not worth it, and prayer won’t work.

Martha returns standing above the seated Jesus and the submitted Mary. Martha interrupts Jesus, tells him to speak to her sister—to whom she didn’t speak, the one whose company Martha felt Jesus preferred—so Mary would do what Martha expected of her. Prayer doesn’t work when our attitude isn’t right, when fellowship with a brother or sister in the Lord is strained, when we are not forgiving of those who disappoint us, and if we feel God is unfair.

Mary heard what Martha didn’t, received what Martha couldn’t and was favored when Martha wasn’t. But Mary wasn’t a better person; she was in a better position because she made a better choice. Life is about choices. Jesus resisted Martha’s summons and praised Mary’s choice. God chooses anyone who consistently chooses to be still and know God and his Word.

Prayer doesn’t work if you mold it instead of letting it mold you.

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