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2008-03-18 issue:

Being self-aware while riding waves of change

Leadership column

by Iris de León-Hartshorn

Print Article

Each of my roles as a chaplain, pastor, agency worker and teacher has given me insight into the life of a church leader. I’ve discovered—by way of my own maturation process—that the best leaders possess three things: a sense of self-awareness, an ability to guide change and an ability to work with conflict.



This Easter season reminds us that change—and transformation—is an ever-present part of human existence. It’s inevitable, and instead of resisting change or ignoring its presence, the best leaders guide it in a way that is life-giving and motivates those working toward an organization’s or congregation’s mission and vision.

Using change is like riding a wave on a surfboard. You use the energy and momentum of the wave (change) to get where you want to go (your vision). If you simply let change happen or ignore the wave’s direction, you likely will find yourself turned over and looking for quick-fix solutions that ultimately delay or completely keep you from accomplishing your vision. Leaders should watch trends and predict the ways shifting paradigms and worldviews will impact the future and use that change to their advantage.

The inevitability of change brings with it conflict, which is why it’s important for leaders to be able to work with it. Conflict is neither positive nor negative; it’s what you do with it that defines you as a leader. You can use conflict as a tool to learn how you might do things better or work at situations differently in the future.

The worst-case scenario with conflict comes when people avoid it and let it simmer to the point that anxiety levels get too high and the conflict explodes. Little constructiveness can be found when this happens. As leaders, we should not be afraid of conflict. We should engage in it and work at resolving it. And before we can truly be our best while working at conflict, we need to be self-aware.

Of the three qualities I list as important to leaders, self-awareness is key. My most formative experience with self-awareness came when I was working as a hospital chaplain. I was called to the emergency room after a fatal car wreck in which the man who died had been drinking.

To further complicate the situation, the deceased man looked like my father, who had struggled with alcohol-related issues and died at a young age himself.

I faced a grieving wife, children and other relatives in significant need of comfort and ministry. I realized I was getting personally hooked into what was happening and needed to remove myself from the situation. I went to an empty room in the hospital and took some deep breaths. Unhooked and composed, I returned to the grieving family and was able to minister to them in a way they deserved.

Self-awareness doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time. You notice yourself becoming self-aware more quickly as you gain experience in situations calling you to walk with, minister to and lead people through difficult situations. Eventually you realize that getting personally sucked into a situation not only is not helpful for others but leaves you with fewer options and choices to be supportive and find solutions.

How does this connect to Mennonite Church USA? We are a church in a world that will constantly experience change and conflict—both outside and within our church walls. We have a mandate from Jesus that calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves, and all that we do as leaders has to be done with that love. We don’t do it for our own sake but for the sake of wanting to become the church God has called us to be and do that in love. After all, how can we be reconcilers of a broken world if we become dominated by our inner conflict, paralyzed by our fear of change and consumed by a lack of self-awareness?

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